I’m going to have to sell our house and move. Not because the holidays left the carpets permanently covered in Christmas tree sap or because the HOA refuses to abolish it’s ridiculous “No Exotic Pets” rule. That would just be crazy. It’s because our bathroom mirrors are haunted. By demons. I’m not talking about the… Continue reading Don’t Look Back (Please)
My 11-year-old son and I slept in a tent on the snow last night. On purpose. It was all part of the Klondike Derby, an event that was started by the Boy Scouts of America in 1949 because they hated to be warm and dry back then. The picture above shows my son’s troop slogging… Continue reading Decapitation Merit Badge
Fortunately, I’ve spent the past several decades establishing a 10-step guide that helps me get through it. Confirm with my wife and kids that, yes, we’re still the type of people that hang lights on our house during the holidays.Wait until at least one other house in the neighborhood has its lights up, because nobody… Continue reading It’s Christmas Light Season, Again
My oldest daughter turned 18 today. She’ll be graduating high school in June, then leaving for college in August. All this growing-up and moving-away stuff is expected, I guess, but it’s sure happening faster than I’d like. Those who’ve already sent a child off into The Great Big World know I’m muddling my way through… Continue reading Owie
Bad News: There’s smoke coming out from underneath our car.Good News: The car is no longer on fire. If you’ve never been at the epicenter of an explosion before (this was my second time), I assure you it’s nothing like the movies. There’s no accompanying thematic music, for example, or a slow-motion action sequence, or… Continue reading The Exploding Snot
I am not a fisherman. Somehow this fact didn’t deter my son’s scout leader from placing me in charge of the fishing merit badges this spring. I’m not exactly sure how I ended up in this role, but I imagine he started with a list of qualified candidates (e.g. the crew from the Deadliest Catch,… Continue reading Teach a Man to Teach to Fish
I lost my sister to cancer 12 years ago today. Actually, that’s not right. I didn’t “lose” her. That makes it sound like I simply misplaced something irrelevant. That if I’d been more careful or could somehow retrace my steps, I could find and bring her back to her children. To her grandchildren. To her… Continue reading The Things I Kept
I’ve historically had bad luck with mountain bike rentals in Arizona. The last two intentionally tried to kill me by lurching into sharp rockery and another one broke down and left me stranded seven miles into a solo desert ride. So this time I rented a "premium" model – a 1x11, full-suspension bike with *working*… Continue reading Dessert in the Desert
My wife jabbed me in ribs this morning at 3am and asked if I was awake. I was. Then she asked if I could hear that sound. I could. It was hard to miss. Our 55lb dog was raucously trudging through our house looking for a suitable place to vomit. Then, he found it. We… Continue reading Wake-Up Call
Let me explain. My 19-year-old son sent a family text last Sunday night confirming our weekly video call. He’d been working on a project all day at A.S.U. but was getting ready to walk back to his apartment so he could join us online at 9pm. Less than 30-minutes later, I was on the phone… Continue reading This Holiday Season, I’m Grateful for a Candy Bar
