My wife and I were married 30 years ago today. To show her how much I still love her, I got up at 3:30am to clean dog vomit off our bedroom floor so she could stay snuggled in bed. I know pearl is the traditional gift for this major milestone, but she strongly hinted she… Continue reading Keeping it Fresh
Let's pretend someone you love very much accidentally left his/her purse in the car which is parked in the driveway because the garage is full of more essential items like bicycles. Question: After they retrieve it and come back in from the freezing rain, do you A) Say nothing and pretend like it wasn’t really… Continue reading Marriage Test
I got grounded from writing this week. I can’t go into details because my wife who shall remain anonymous said if I posted anything about it on social media we would have to move out of state and I wasn’t sure if her “we” included me or if she just meant her and the kids… Continue reading Gagged
My wife and I decided to spice up our marriage by having all the wood flooring forcibly removed from our home. Sure, we could’ve just booked a themed hotel room for the weekend or taken a romantic dance class together, but this way we’ll get to spend the next several weeks passionately debating new stain… Continue reading New Dance Floor
Two things: The standard sentence for first degree murder in the state of Washington is 20-26 years.My wife and I have been married for 27 years today. This means if she would’ve intentionally killed someone instead of marrying me back in ’92, she’d most likely be a free woman right now. Or at least awaiting… Continue reading Good with Words
I sent my wife out for a professional pedicure this afternoon which makes me sound pretty great until you know the whole story. For those who may have lost track, it’s been 75 days since Tamie tore her hamstring and an equal number of days since she’s been able to touch anything below her left… Continue reading Trying
It’s Saturday morning, 10am. The sun is shining and it’s 70°F outside. Of the million awesome things I could be doing on this beautiful fall day in the Pacific Northwest, I’ve chosen to push a shopping cart around the inside of a grocery store with my wife. Normally, we’d be out riding bikes on some… Continue reading Our Thing
I’m helping to plan a wedding. It’s not for me. I already have a wife. It’s for my son and his fiancé, who is from Boston of all places. I was skeptical about their engagement for a long time because I didn’t believe it was possible to love someone who didn’t fervently hate the Patriots.… Continue reading The Price of Love
I lost my sister to cancer 12 years ago today. Actually, that’s not right. I didn’t “lose” her. That makes it sound like I simply misplaced something irrelevant. That if I’d been more careful or could somehow retrace my steps, I could find and bring her back to her children. To her grandchildren. To her… Continue reading The Things I Kept
Eating My Way to the Top 