The Cost of Saving

The automatic soap dispenser built into our dishwasher stopped working. Instead of selling our house and moving, I just watched a short how-to video online and fixed it myself. Saved us a ton of money. Was my wife impressed? No, but that’s because she hates having to wash blood out of my clothing. It’s not… Continue reading The Cost of Saving

This Is Why Coloring Is Important

NASA is now using my team's software to analyze astronaut genomes WHILE THEY ARE STILL ONBOARD the ISS. This will undoubtedly prevent them from carrying back any parasitoidal alien DNA. You’re welcome, Earth. I guess this means I owe my 11th grade biology teacher an apology. I thought those frog anatomy worksheets he regularly assigned… Continue reading This Is Why Coloring Is Important

Swashbuckled

July 10, 2021 My dog would’ve made a terrible pirate. Ivan’s swordsmanship was mediocre, at best, and he certainly couldn’t be trusted to carry around a live parrot. He was notoriously bad, though, at burying treasure. Whenever he’d acquire something particularly valuable, like a marrow bone, he’d rush off to bury it beneath the pear… Continue reading Swashbuckled

Back to the Breakfast Club

I’m going to start showing up on some sort of Untrained Employee List at work in a few weeks. My company rolled out a new series of required training courses this year to teach people like me how to “build inclusive team behaviors” and “manage team bias” and “empower a team speak-up culture” which essentially… Continue reading Back to the Breakfast Club