I’m an accomplice to murder. Worse, Tamie stuffed the remains of the body into our garbage disposal and now I’m probably going to need a plumber. Apparently, a sourdough starter should never go down the sink. Even if it’s already dead. In case you’re not familiar with sourdough starters, they’re essentially colonies of wild yeast… Continue reading The Ender
Tamie and I have been married for over three decades, which is why it surprised me when she asked if I'd like to share my phone number with a neighbor who’d recently inquired about walking our dogs together. “Seriously?” I asked. “Yes. He’s very friendly, and I think he’d be good company for you on… Continue reading Waitlisted
I took a sabbatical from Microsoft in late 2024. It’s a nice perk offered to long-term employees like me who are ready to step away from the office and find out how many consecutive days they can spend providing helpful process improvements at home before their spouse murders them. It’s not as many as you’d… Continue reading Counter Argument
My three grandkids (ages 5, 5, and 3) flew in from Boston yesterday with their parents and are here for the holidays. When I came downstairs this morning at 7am, the kids were already up and playing a game called “Let’s throw Hot Wheels cars at the shiny Christmas tree bulbs.” They were very good… Continue reading Rocketing the Christmas Tree
My youngest child recently wrote and mailed a letter for the first time. He’s 21. To his credit, he knew he needed to attach a stamp before sending it off. A few years ago, his older sister attempted the same thing but just taped a bunch of quarters onto an envelope. I know what you’re… Continue reading Mail 101
It’s been a busy week for us. My wife noticed that a stoplight near our neighborhood was malfunctioning and sprang into action. She contacted the City of Sammamish and got the required repair forms submitted. All of them. Meanwhile, the app I use on my indoor bike trainer stopped working. So, I filed a detailed… Continue reading Does This Cape Make My Butt Look Fat?
Today I biked past an old man using a walker on the sidewalk. He was wearing a cycling jersey. Not some cheap novelty tee or faded cotton wannabe, either. A real one—aerodynamic cut, triple rear pockets, full length zipper, snug sleeves, defiant colors. He was moving slowly, but not apologetically. I wish I’d stopped. Turned… Continue reading On Your Left
Tamie and I were married 33 years ago last Friday. To celebrate, I planned a four-day getaway to the Oregon coast, complete with beachside accommodations, charming outdoor restaurants, scenic hikes, and a romantic train ride for three. This seems like the appropriate time to mention that Rupert, our 80-pound dog, chaperoned. To be clear, this… Continue reading Our 33rd Wedding Anniversary: It Could’ve Gone Worse
Rupert and I got up early to participate in the fourth annual Ivan Memorial Hike. We haven’t missed one yet. My wife has missed all four. She hates the venue for some reason, but I enjoy the climb and Rupert enjoys chasing the spirit of a dog he’s never met. It was a very good… Continue reading Upwards, Still
I left my wife alone over Mother’s Day weekend. Before you get all judgy, know this: it was her idea. Also, she wasn’t technically alone since Rupert, our 80lb lap dog, was with her the entire time. Do we have any regrets? It depends on which one of us you ask. I had a thoroughly… Continue reading Get Away
