My mom called to yell at me on my way to work today. At first I thought she’d found out about that time in college my friends and I got caught sneaking into a penthouse in downtown Vegas, but then realized she was actually yelling because my dad was outside shoveling snow off their driveway… Continue reading Help Wanted
I just spent 30 minutes at the post office. The place was packed, the self-service machine was broken, and there were only three people helping with the lines. But the worst part was how cordial everyone was being to each other. First, an older lady who was literally dragging a laundry basket full of packages… Continue reading Going Not Postal
It’s Saturday morning, 10am. The sun is shining and it’s 70°F outside. Of the million awesome things I could be doing on this beautiful fall day in the Pacific Northwest, I’ve chosen to push a shopping cart around the inside of a grocery store with my wife. Normally, we’d be out riding bikes on some… Continue reading Our Thing
I ran into a tree while mountain biking today. With my face. I don’t remember the specific details that led up to the incident, but I imagine things unfolded like this: First, I was riding along and my face wasn’t hitting any trees, then, quite unexpectedly, it was. Physics and poor judgement are cruel mistresses.… Continue reading Scary Fast
My employer deployed an autonomous robotic mower to the front lawn of my building this week. It’s like a Roomba vacuum cleaner, but with considerably worse collision consequences for sleeping cats. I think it’s awesome, though not just for that reason. If you know me at all, then you know I despise mowing more than… Continue reading The Future of My Dreams
This is a picture of Sentry 2018, or “S18” for short. She’s a spirited young araneus cavaticus that guards my back fence. We just met today. She inherited this position from her mother, S17, who used to welcome me into her home every time I mowed the lawn last summer. Sweet lady. I can sometimes… Continue reading Will Work for Food
My 11-year-old son and I slept in a tent on the snow last night. On purpose. It was all part of the Klondike Derby, an event that was started by the Boy Scouts of America in 1949 because they hated to be warm and dry back then. The picture above shows my son’s troop slogging… Continue reading Decapitation Merit Badge
Fortunately, I’ve spent the past several decades establishing a 10-step guide that helps me get through it. Confirm with my wife and kids that, yes, we’re still the type of people that hang lights on our house during the holidays.Wait until at least one other house in the neighborhood has its lights up, because nobody… Continue reading It’s Christmas Light Season, Again
I am not a fisherman. Somehow this fact didn’t deter my son’s scout leader from placing me in charge of the fishing merit badges this spring. I’m not exactly sure how I ended up in this role, but I imagine he started with a list of qualified candidates (e.g. the crew from the Deadliest Catch,… Continue reading Teach a Man to Teach to Fish
I must have passed a thousand of these little furry things on my bike ride today, most of them somewhere in the midst of crossing multiple lanes of traffic. I’m not sure why. From my perspective, one side of the road looked just as good as the other — a seemingly equal distribution of soil and foliage,… Continue reading Lost En Route Together
Eating My Way to the Top 