Our Bear Roof

I helped put a new roof on our house this month. Specifically, I got to choose which shade of gray tiles to use and then pay for them to be professionally installed. This wasn’t nearly as fun as it sounds.

Honestly, I didn’t know roofs wore out. I guess I’m still spoiled from the glory days, back when my wife and I and all our young children lived in a tiny two-bedroom apartment and could just call maintenance whenever something stopped working. Like the fridge or toilet or hallway light. We didn’t even own any do-it-yourself tools back then, unless you count the can of spray paint I used to mask egregious carpet stains.

Simpler times.

Apparently, though, the lifespan of a typical roof tile is 20-30 years. This also happens to be the lifespan of a typical American black bear. I’m not sure if our HOA has any restrictions against using alternative roofing materials, but the cost difference between the two probably would’ve been insignificant. Sure, covering our roof with black bears would make hanging Christmas lights slightly more problematic every winter, but the extra insulation would save us a bundle in heating costs.

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