Gagged

I got grounded from writing this week.

I can’t go into details because my wife who shall remain anonymous said if I posted anything about it on social media we would have to move out of state and I wasn’t sure if her “we” included me or if she just meant her and the kids so I promised I wouldn’t do anything stupid because I can’t imagine existing without her and also I didn’t want to make the dog choose between living out the rest of his days with the household alpha leader or staying here with me.

The problem is my brain. For whatever reason, it’s wired to find humor in everything. You might think this is a really endearing quality but I have been repeatedly assured that it is not. I guess some people who shall remain anonymous simply don’t enjoy starring in amusing stories. Probably because they’re shy. Or like having lots of friends. It’s hard to say.

Anyways, if you don’t hear from me for a while it’s because I’m a supportive and loving husband and not because my body is decomposing at the bottom of Puget Sound.

If necessary, please share that last part with the proper authorities.