Tamie and I helped chaperone a youth church dance on New Year’s Eve. Don’t worry, our kids are all grown up and living in different states so we didn’t embarrass them to death by being old in public. Since we hadn't been preassigned a specific task, we showed up an hour early in case the… Continue reading 2025 Is for Professionals Only
Tamie took my place in Idaho a few weeks ago so she could continue to help my mom recover from knee replacement surgery. I love my wife dearly, but really wish she’d learn to be more responsible. She should know, after nearly 32 years of marriage, to not leave me unsupervised in Seattle. Last time… Continue reading Misdirection
I was mountain biking last Friday and feeling pretty good about my efforts when my smartwatch started freaking out and barraging me with alerts because it’d detected some sort of regional incident. Since I was currently descending a section of trail ill-suited for stopping, I had to finish getting to the bottom before I could… Continue reading Incident Detected
My wife and I were married 30 years ago today. To show her how much I still love her, I got up at 3:30am to clean dog vomit off our bedroom floor so she could stay snuggled in bed. I know pearl is the traditional gift for this major milestone, but she strongly hinted she… Continue reading Keeping it Fresh
I helped put a new roof on our house this month. Specifically, I got to choose which shade of gray tiles to use and then pay for them to be professionally installed. This wasn’t nearly as fun as it sounds. Honestly, I didn’t know roofs wore out. I guess I’m still spoiled from the glory… Continue reading Our Bear Roof
I’ve been hobbling around the house all week because I hurt my back trying to wrestle a 14-foot, 110lb Burmese Python back into his cage. You probably have questions. Let me assure you, though, that I was being extra careful and was only lifting a few feet of snake at a time. I’m not an… Continue reading Consssequences
For my birthday this year I got Brussels sprouts. That’s not what I wanted, of course. I wanted sushi, but the restaurant Tamie took me to for dinner was closed. She then drove us to the nearest restaurant with “fish” in its name which seemed promising until we looked at the menu and realized they… Continue reading Old and Bitter
The automatic soap dispenser built into our dishwasher stopped working. Instead of selling our house and moving, I just watched a short how-to video online and fixed it myself. Saved us a ton of money. Was my wife impressed? No, but that’s because she hates having to wash blood out of my clothing. It’s not… Continue reading The Cost of Saving
My wife left me. She’s visiting our grandkids and will come back next week, probably, but things are going to be rough around here until then. To survive, the kids and the dog and I created the following 7-day plan: Day 1: Stock up on toilet paper and hand sanitizer.Day 2: Carefully ration out our… Continue reading On Our Own
My wife let me go to my six-week post-op visit without her today. This meant I got to ask the doctor all sorts of interesting things. For instance, I now know that bones start to calcify and crumble when they reach 1600°F, and that the melting point of stainless steel is 2500°F. This means the… Continue reading Souvenirs
