Incident Detected

I was mountain biking last Friday and feeling pretty good about my efforts when my smartwatch started freaking out and barraging me with alerts because it’d detected some sort of regional incident. Since I was currently descending a section of trail ill-suited for stopping, I had to finish getting to the bottom before I could disable the alarm and check my cellphone to see if there’d been an earthquake or volcanic eruption or nuclear attack.

Instead, I found out my watch was just being a jerk.

A friend of mine has a similar “smart” device that sends him real-time riding information about his jumping distance, hang time, and how smoothly he’s flowing through turns. Mine, using the same cutting-edge motion sensors and highly sophisticated software, determined I’d crashed and likely needed emergency help. Worse, it’d proactively sent a text message to my wife with the precise GPS location of my body.

Thankfully, she didn’t immediately panic and call Search and Rescue but also SHE DIDN’T IMMEDIATELY PANIC AND CALL SEARCH AND RESCUE.

Incidents like this tend to put a real strain on a marriage which is why it’s important to continually question the reliability of robots and everyone on your emergency contact list.

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