Rupert and I got up early to participate in the fourth annual Ivan Memorial Hike. We haven’t missed one yet. My wife has missed all four. She hates the venue for some reason, but I enjoy the climb and Rupert enjoys chasing the spirit of a dog he’s never met. It was a very good… Continue reading Upwards, Still
I left my wife alone over Mother’s Day weekend. Before you get all judgy, know this: it was her idea. Also, she wasn’t technically alone since Rupert, our 80lb lap dog, was with her the entire time. Do we have any regrets? It depends on which one of us you ask. I had a thoroughly… Continue reading Get Away
I ordered myself a new electric toothbrush on January 26th. It was supposed to arrive by January 29th but didn’t show up until Feb 5th. This wasn’t that upsetting. In fact, I assumed it’d either be delayed by bad weather or by one of America's new presidential decrees. What truly angered me, though, was knowing… Continue reading Knowing Things Just Makes Me Angry
I took my dog in for his annual exam today and the vet said Rupert had reached his "pet weight" which is one of those phrases that sounds kind of like a compliment but is actually a backhanded way of saying he's gotten too fat to survive on his own in the wild. This is… Continue reading Pet Weight
Tamie and I helped chaperone a youth church dance on New Year’s Eve. Don’t worry, our kids are all grown up and living in different states so we didn’t embarrass them to death by being old in public. Since we hadn't been preassigned a specific task, we showed up an hour early in case the… Continue reading 2025 Is for Professionals Only
What do a stack of cafeteria trays, a wooden waterbed frame from the '80s, and a cannon ball all have in common? My dad. I recently spent five days emptying his garage and two storage sheds so we could get the house ready to sell. It was crazy. He had an entire bucket full of… Continue reading Why, Dad?
I’m defective. For the last 18 months or so, my left ear has felt clogged. But instead of just muffled sounds, I started hearing a high-pitched buzz. ALL. OF. THE. DAMN. TIME. It’s now become almost impossible to understand conversations in public places, especially if there is any sort of background noise (I’m looking at… Continue reading WHAT
Tamie took my place in Idaho a few weeks ago so she could continue to help my mom recover from knee replacement surgery. I love my wife dearly, but really wish she’d learn to be more responsible. She should know, after nearly 32 years of marriage, to not leave me unsupervised in Seattle. Last time… Continue reading Misdirection
I’ve been hanging out at a senior care center in Idaho for the past two weeks helping my mom recover from knee replacement surgery. My primary job has been smuggling vanilla frappes into her room. So far, so good, though I can’t take all the credit for her progress -- the center’s nurses are amazing,… Continue reading Step Bravely
My youngest son is finishing his first year of college this week which means I’m going to be very busy editing a final paper on a book that neither of us read. I’m really looking forward to it. After all, it’s nice having an excuse to spend quality time debating grammar rules and discussing current… Continue reading Will Edit for Free
