Losing Stings

I feel bad for Donald Trump. Hear me out. According to Wikipedia, the poor guy spent his adolescence attending exclusive college prep schools. This means he missed out on the many benefits offered through the public school system, like seventh-grade P.E., which is where most American children are taught to feel bad about themselves. Without… Continue reading Losing Stings

Christmas Remix

[The following story is based on a stormy December night from 2003. No names have been changed, no characters invented, no events fabricated. Mostly.] Dashin’ through the snowIn a one-horse open sleigh The lights are up. The tree is decorated. O’er the fields we goLaughin’ all the way The sound of holiday music fills the… Continue reading Christmas Remix

Costly Mistake

I have some bad news. I crashed while mountain biking with a friend near Mount Rainier on Friday and ended up breaking 6 ribs and my right clavicle. Stay with me because that isn’t the bad part. After conducting a thorough trail-side wellness check (“Dude, has my collar bone always jutted out from my shoulder… Continue reading Costly Mistake