Today I biked past an old man using a walker on the sidewalk. He was wearing a cycling jersey. Not some cheap novelty tee or faded cotton wannabe, either. A real one—aerodynamic cut, triple rear pockets, full length zipper, snug sleeves, defiant colors. He was moving slowly, but not apologetically. I wish I’d stopped. Turned… Continue reading On Your Left
Tamie and I were married 33 years ago last Friday. To celebrate, I planned a four-day getaway to the Oregon coast, complete with beachside accommodations, charming outdoor restaurants, scenic hikes, and a romantic train ride for three. This seems like the appropriate time to mention that Rupert, our 80-pound dog, chaperoned. To be clear, this… Continue reading Our 33rd Wedding Anniversary: It Could’ve Gone Worse
I left my wife alone over Mother’s Day weekend. Before you get all judgy, know this: it was her idea. Also, she wasn’t technically alone since Rupert, our 80lb lap dog, was with her the entire time. Do we have any regrets? It depends on which one of us you ask. I had a thoroughly… Continue reading Get Away
I ordered myself a new electric toothbrush on January 26th. It was supposed to arrive by January 29th but didn’t show up until Feb 5th. This wasn’t that upsetting. In fact, I assumed it’d either be delayed by bad weather or by one of America's new presidential decrees. What truly angered me, though, was knowing… Continue reading Knowing Things Just Makes Me Angry
What do a stack of cafeteria trays, a wooden waterbed frame from the '80s, and a cannon ball all have in common? My dad. I recently spent five days emptying his garage and two storage sheds so we could get the house ready to sell. It was crazy. He had an entire bucket full of… Continue reading Why, Dad?
I’m defective. For the last 18 months or so, my left ear has felt clogged. But instead of just muffled sounds, I started hearing a high-pitched buzz. ALL. OF. THE. DAMN. TIME. It’s now become almost impossible to understand conversations in public places, especially if there is any sort of background noise (I’m looking at… Continue reading WHAT
Tamie took my place in Idaho a few weeks ago so she could continue to help my mom recover from knee replacement surgery. I love my wife dearly, but really wish she’d learn to be more responsible. She should know, after nearly 32 years of marriage, to not leave me unsupervised in Seattle. Last time… Continue reading Misdirection
I’ve been hanging out at a senior care center in Idaho for the past two weeks helping my mom recover from knee replacement surgery. My primary job has been smuggling vanilla frappes into her room. So far, so good, though I can’t take all the credit for her progress -- the center’s nurses are amazing,… Continue reading Step Bravely
[I attended the funeral of one of my high school classmates this week. Afterwards, I wrote and shared the following post on my class's FB page. Saving it here for posterity.] David’s service on Wednesday was really nice. It was great seeing so many people honoring his memory and hearing tales about his life since… Continue reading 4Ever a Bobcat
I once snuck a large Burmese python onto a flight from Arizona to Idaho. Then back again. If you think this was the hardest thing I’ve ever done with Hank, the snake I bought as a pet back in college, you’d be wrong. Before 9/11, airport security was primarily based on the honor system, so… Continue reading The Hardest Part
