I’m an accomplice to murder. Worse, Tamie stuffed the remains of the body into our garbage disposal and now I’m probably going to need a plumber. Apparently, a sourdough starter should never go down the sink. Even if it’s already dead. In case you’re not familiar with sourdough starters, they’re essentially colonies of wild yeast… Continue reading The Ender
Rupert and I got up early to participate in the fourth annual Ivan Memorial Hike. We haven’t missed one yet. My wife has missed all four. She hates the venue for some reason, but I enjoy the climb and Rupert enjoys chasing the spirit of a dog he’s never met. It was a very good… Continue reading Upwards, Still
What do a stack of cafeteria trays, a wooden waterbed frame from the '80s, and a cannon ball all have in common? My dad. I recently spent five days emptying his garage and two storage sheds so we could get the house ready to sell. It was crazy. He had an entire bucket full of… Continue reading Why, Dad?
I’ve been hanging out at a senior care center in Idaho for the past two weeks helping my mom recover from knee replacement surgery. My primary job has been smuggling vanilla frappes into her room. So far, so good, though I can’t take all the credit for her progress -- the center’s nurses are amazing,… Continue reading Step Bravely
[I attended the funeral of one of my high school classmates this week. Afterwards, I wrote and shared the following post on my class's FB page. Saving it here for posterity.] David’s service on Wednesday was really nice. It was great seeing so many people honoring his memory and hearing tales about his life since… Continue reading 4Ever a Bobcat
I once snuck a large Burmese python onto a flight from Arizona to Idaho. Then back again. If you think this was the hardest thing I’ve ever done with Hank, the snake I bought as a pet back in college, you’d be wrong. Before 9/11, airport security was primarily based on the honor system, so… Continue reading The Hardest Part
The funeral home that helped plan and conduct my dad's service 8 months ago sent a birthday card TO MY DAD. (Dear Max,) "May the year ahead be filled with new opportunities . . ." Then it somehow got worse because they signed it with "Warmest thoughts" which seems totally inappropriate considering they cremated him.… Continue reading Warmest Thoughts
June 10, 2022 There’s a two-mile trail near my home that punches its way upward through 2000 vertical feet of unkempt Pacific Northwest forest. It’s little more than a crack through thicketed undergrowth—a tangled and erratic mixture of stone, roots, and sludge. My dog and I first discovered it in 2011. I was looking for… Continue reading Upward
Thirty-five minutes. That’s how long it took me to bury my dad’s remains after his funeral earlier this month. I don’t know if that’s fast or slow because I haven’t buried a lot of bodies. At least ones that are substantially larger than, say, a hamster. It’s not that I was in a hurry. In… Continue reading December Dirt
July 10, 2021 My dog would’ve made a terrible pirate. Ivan’s swordsmanship was mediocre, at best, and he certainly couldn’t be trusted to carry around a live parrot. He was notoriously bad, though, at burying treasure. Whenever he’d acquire something particularly valuable, like a marrow bone, he’d rush off to bury it beneath the pear… Continue reading Swashbuckled
