Get Away

I left my wife alone over Mother’s Day weekend.

Before you get all judgy, know this: it was her idea. Also, she wasn’t technically alone since Rupert, our 80lb lap dog, was with her the entire time.

Do we have any regrets? It depends on which one of us you ask.

I had a thoroughly delightful weekend. Per Tamie’s suggestion, I booked a flight to Idaho and spent Mother’s Day with my mom. We hadn’t seen each other since moving her into an assisted living facility last fall, so there was a lot to catch up on. Like ranking Blizzards from the summer menu at DQ®, for example, and discussing how much her marksmanship had improved after she started going to the gun range. She’s 80. Also, I got to meet some of her new friends, one of which I found dead inside the elevator. Except it turned out he wasn’t actually dead but had just fallen asleep in his wheelchair on his commute down from the third floor. Still.

Rupert had the best weekend of his entire life. He loved following Tamie around the house while she worked. He also loved sitting next to her on the couch while she relaxed and drooling on her pants while she ate. Plus, they played all his favorite games, like the one where he brings her all his toys and she pretends not to want them. And the one where he tries to lick her face and she tries to push him away so he has to try even harder to lick her face. Perfect ten out of ten experience for him.

Tamie thinks the weekend could’ve used a lot less Rupert.

I get it, which is why I bought her a solo ticket to Utah for Memorial Day weekend to hang out with our daughters and family there. And before you get all praisy, know this: it was her idea.