This is 53

I turned 53 last month. So far things have gone pretty well except for the time my eyeballs dried out and stopped working normally. I spent that entire day dousing myself with saline solution and wondering how blindness would affect my mountain biking skills only to later discover I’d been wearing an extra pair of contacts. It seemed I’d installed a fresh pair that morning without removing the old ones first. It’s important to note that I had, until then, completed this daily two-step task successfully FOR THE PAST 35 YEARS.

You might think double-stacking contact lenses would magnify your vision and make you feel like a superhero, but I assure you it does not. In fact, aside from the physical ailments described above, it mostly makes you feel old and that you’ve probably also forgotten to turn the stove off and how to play bingo.

If you have any comforting advice to share, meet me at the local buffet for dinner. 4pm sharp. I’ll be just ahead of you on the freeway with my blinker on.