Pet Weight

I took my dog in for his annual exam today and the vet said Rupert had reached his “pet weight” which is one of those phrases that sounds kind of like a compliment but is actually a backhanded way of saying he’s gotten too fat to survive on his own in the wild.

This is ridiculous, of course, because just like his wolfen ancestors, he knows how to get to Starbucks for free puppuccinos.