My insurance provider is sending me a free in-home test kit to screen for colorectal cancer. I’m not sure where they got the idea that I’m good at do-it-yourself projects. It took me two tries, four unnecessary holes, and a lot of bad words to install a “No Tools Required” safety gate at the top of our stairs a few weeks ago. And the stupid thing still doesn’t open right. Plus, I ultimately had to enlist the help of my wife and 16-year-old son, both of whom will likely be much less willing to lend me a hand this time.