Misdirection

Tamie took my place in Idaho a few weeks ago so she could continue to help my mom recover from knee replacement surgery. I love my wife dearly, but really wish she’d learn to be more responsible. She should know, after nearly 32 years of marriage, to not leave me unsupervised in Seattle. Last time she did this, I started drinking coffee because I thought it’d be cool to own a fancy espresso machine. The time before that, I bought a new mountain bike. This time, I decided to repaint our house. Don’t worry, I hired a crew of professionals to do the actual work and to help with all the hard decisions, like which shade of grey is best and whether to use a flat or gloss or satin finish and if I should re-hang our Easter decorations on the front door after they’re done.

On a scale that goes from 1 to Divorce, I would say I’m only at like a 3 or 4. Cost-wise, this project sits safely between the espresso machine and bike, so that shouldn’t be an issue. My main concern is whether completely changing the color of our house will be enough to distract her from noticing the new 49” monitor in my office.